THE DARK TIME ENDS AT LAST

As suddenly and inexplicably as it had descended, my depression began to lift.  I was weaned off the anti-psychotic (I had never been psychotic) and told I could go home Monday with a prescription for an antidepressant.  Paul was overjoyed as being both Mommy and Daddy had been very difficult.  Jeanne had not been allowed to come and visit me.

On Saturday night the patients and staff had an unexpected treat.  Two singers came with their own pianist and we all gathered in the big room where we had our snacks.  The singers were from Melba's church and were fantastic.  They sang selections from the musical Show Boat and I was enchanted.  I was thrilled that I could actually feel enchanted--any feeling but despair and acute anxiety.  The gentleman possessed a deep, resonant voice and ended the performance with a stirring rendition of Old Man River.  There was enthusiastic applause and calls for encores (from me) and they were more than happy to oblige.  Even the shut down patients were clapping.  The couple asked Melba to sing with them and to no one's surprise Melba was fantastic as the trio sang a medley from Show Boat.

The kitchen had outdone themselves with snacks and gorgeous cupcakes were the crowning glory.

The ice had surely been broken and I had a wonderful time and I'm pretty sure everyone else did too.  Melba made sure no one felt left out.

On Monday I packed my little suitcase, hugged Melba and told her she should be on Broadway.  Paul and Jeanne were waiting for me downstairs and I went home at last.  Although I have experienced brief periods of depression and anxiety since then, I never again felt the crushing despair and persistent pessimism of those dark days.

There were consequences, however.  For two years after I left the hospital I brought singers from the Players where Paul was director who gladly sang for this special audience.

And years later I went back to school, finished my BA and earned an MA in Counseling and worked as a psychotherapist for 36 frustrating and fulfilling years.  At some point I ran into my former psychiatrist and I told him of my new profession.

He smiled and murmured, "It's about time."