INSTEAD OF SCHOOL BOOKS, KIDNEY STONES

Sarasota Memorial Hospital

Lord have mercy, why did I feel so terrible?  And what was that strange bubbling sound?  It was so hard to open my eyes....but finally I did.  I saw a tube filled with hideous green bubbly stuff coming out of my nose and snaking across the bed.  Where did it end?  I couldn't see.  I couldn't seem to move.

"Well, hey, sweet thing, you finally woke up, huh?  You been laying there gurgling and snorting for a long time with that green stuff coming out of your belly.  Damn near made me upchuck."

Some strange woman was smiling at me from the bed across the room.

"We thought you was gonna sleep for a hundred years like Sleeping Beauty"

Then I heard a strange muffled voice.  I slowly turned my eyes toward the voice and saw someone sitting up in bed with her entire head swathed in bandages except for her eyes and a little hole where her mouth was.  I had no idea what she had said.

"I'm sorry; I didn't understand what you said."  My voice was hoarse, like the voice of the devil in The Exorcist.

"She said but you ain't no beauty."  This hilarious remark was greeted by laughter from all three of my roommates.  There was a young girl in the bed next to me.  It all came back to me then.  The hospital....kidney stones....surgery.....lots of pain.  Lots of pain.

And on that cheerful note, in strode my urologist.  "How are you feeling, Linda?" he said, flipping through papers on his clipboard.  I gave him A Look.  "Well, like I told you--the first five days you feel like you're going to die.  The next five days you're afraid you won't."  Everyone laughed heartily.  I  managed a grim smile.

"Is it time for a pain shot?" I said, hopefully.

"That's my girl--you haven't lost your sense of humor!"

"Yes, I have.  Really, can I have something for pain?"

"I think you have about another half hour to wait before we can...."  I grabbed his arm hard.

"I want a shot now!  I'm in pain!  Now!"  

Flustered, the doctor mumbled something and hurriedly left the room.  My roommates were strangely silent.  I lay there trying not to cry until a nurse rushed into the room carrying a needle.  An angel of mercy.  She gave me the shot and gently adjusted the sheets.  She smiled.

"You'll begin to feel better very soon, I promise," she said in a soft voice.  "Very soon."

"I can't go back to school now.  I would have been a senior this year.   I'm a Green Knight.  I won't be there when our last year starts...."  The tears came then.

The nurse gently pushed my hair back and gave me a Kleenex.  "You'll go back some day."

"I don't think I will."  I remembered Sunday dinners with the sunlight streaming in the windows of the dining room.  All of us in our Sunday best and singing the blessing...  Praise God from whom all blessings flow...

I closed my eyes and let myself remember.