NOTE: Although this blog is chronological, I have decided to occasionally post episodes from my long and bittersweet career as a psychotherapist. No real names will be used and identifying factors will be changed.
"I want to be a virgin when I get married," said the pretty teenager.
"Well, I think that's wonderful, but I hope you don't get married too soon. You're only fourteen," I said.
"Oh, I know all about marriage and babies and all that stuff," she said, sounding world weary and jaded.
"You had a talk with your mother?" I said hopefully.
"Oh, no! My girlfriends told me everything. Like if you do it standing up, you can't get pregnant."
"Oh, dear! That's just not true."
She looked at me pityingly. "Yes, it is. My girlfriends know about these things. Another thing is you can't get pregnant unless the sex is good."
"Well, now, that is really not true."
Speculatively, she looked me up and down. "Miss Linda, you really need to talk to someone who knows about these things."
* * * * * * *
After missing two appointments, our little girl's father asked to speak to me. He was clearly uncomfortable.
"Well, how are things going?" I asked, fearing he would tell me. He did.
"My daughter is pregnant. And she has ... an STD. Had she given you any indication that she was....sexually active?"
"I am so sorry, Sir. She had told me that she was planning to save herself for marriage. I didn't even know she had a boyfriend."
"She doesn't. I don't know who the father is or how it even happened."
Hesitantly, I said, "Your daughter has many misconceptions about sex and very little actual knowledge. Perhaps your wife could speak to her....."
"Her mother was afraid she might give our little girl ideas....."
* * * * * *
"Well, I don't intend to gain any weight. I want to keep wearing a size 0."
Groaning inwardly, I gathered my thoughts. Where to begin? "I think..."
"And I still want to be a virgin for my husband and I think I still am because I don't think we really did it. Nothing really happened, but he said it was over. I don't really understand...."
I took her little hand in mine and made her look at me. "You're not a virgin anymore; you're going to have a baby. You have to eat so the baby can get nourishment. You won't be able to wear a size 0. Everything has changed. You're going to be a mother. Do you understand?"
She turned away from me and looked out the window. "I didn't even like it," she said, her voice flat. "I don't know what all the fuss is about."
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